This is the winning article of Wordism Competition for the month of Bhadra on title “Heartbreak and pain”
Writer: Gopal Pun
Stitching the parts of his heart that she had torn apart, covering up all the ditches she had created, painting the corners of his achromatic heart and rejuvenating himself all over again; he is struggling so hard to get over that heartbreak and pain.
Yes! That heartbreak and excruciating pain which she left behind along with the footsteps for him while stealing away all the happiness he assembled before in her presence. And he’s afraid that the pain she gifted to him is going to last forever; that emotional pain, that heartbreak unlike other physical injury, which just fades away after few days of medication.
He has been hurt before; he has been through the pain as well but this one; this one is completely an overwhelming distress. He is totally out of control. His every sense organ, his moves and feelings are out of his regulation. It’s like he doesn’t own them anymore. His whole body, from the roof of the head to the tip of the toe aches more than anything else. He feels like they are shaking so vibrantly, shaking because of the shivering cold and at the same time burning with roasting hot. He is falling from a skyscraper, drowning into a deep ocean, lost into the woods and swept away by the blowing wind simultaneously. Oh Lord! It hurts him so much.
He never thought he would be like this; he would behave this way. He thinks life has been so unfair to him. He laments to God or whatever exist that has this magical power to rule this universe. He expresses his grievances for slaying him alive for nothing. He asks, “Why me? Why this uncontrollable pain? What had I done? Do I really deserve it or is it the only thing worthy for me?” He is unable to understand why all this happened so abruptly taking him from pleasuring heaven to awful hell within a blink of time? This is so not fair, he thinks.
And again he enters to the world where he already has lost his control and regulation. His mind is short-circuited. Every veins and arteries are jammed. They cannot pump blood properly and it seems like the blood is looking for a way to ooze out from the body. The same body which is trying to bear an unbearable pain. He is suffocating. His lungs have become useless. Rather, his body is so vacant or a worthless pack of muscles and skeleton. He used to consider his hands as flapping wings to fly high up in the sky of his dreams but now, now he can barely feel anything beyond his shoulders.
That heartbreak and devastating pain she left for him indeed has been the most horrible thing so far in his life. It has turned him almost a living corpse. Nonetheless, he hasn’t knelt down in front of these awful situations. Rather, he vows to move on with a mended but strong heart. Whatever he is facing at the present time, however he is living; it has strengthened him more. He’s taking it positively. That heartbreak and excruciating pain has been a good lesson for him making him realize how cruel this world can be, how inhumane people can turn into and how awful can life become.
He knew it, how life works. No matter how many times and however you fall, you get up again and walk in your journey of life. If you can you run; you run, if not you walk or crawl but you never stop. You shouldn’t. You must not.
Life is for everyone. Even if someone’s a richest person or poorest, beautiful or ugly, smart or dull, tall or short, fat or slim, everyone has got the same. Everyone struggles to make his or her one better. Everyone interfaces ups and downs, crest and trough. Life actually is not for somebody who fails or goes through heartbreak and gives up on everything. But, it’s for those who manage to stand upright despite the worst thing that happens to them and takes their breath away. Life would be so mundane if it wouldn’t include failures along with successes, pain along with happiness, love along with hatred and heartbreak along with attachment. But, nobody looses his or her hope. They believe themselves and move on and that’s how they live. They survive or breath even if they are doing it barely.
And that’s exactly what he is doing despite the unbearable pain and uncontrollable conditions. Yes! He is struggling so hard to get over that heartbreak and pain believing himself more than anything else.
Question and Answer with Gopal
1. Tell us more about you.
Myself Gopal Pun Magar basically from Baglung and currently at Dhobighat, Lalitpur. Regarding my academic qualification, I’ve done bachelors in Electronics and Communication Engineering from Kurukshetra University, India. And I’m working as a ‘Network Engineer’ at Netfiniti Pvt. Ltd., Gairidhara, Kathmandu.
Towards my hobbies, I like to sing and play guitar. I love playing or watching football a lot. Besides that, reading novels, writing stories, poems, articles, blogs have been my interests which triggered me to run my own personal website. Do check it.
2. What was your thought when you apply to Wordism competition?
The first time I wrote for this competition was for the month of shrawan and I was literally very very excited getting a platform that can provide me and others like me the needful exposure and motivation who are actually passionate in writing. I was listed in top 5 as well. My interest towards this got more intensified and decided to apply for next as well.
More than the position, gift hampers and certificates, what matter the most for me is the platform I’ve got to write my thoughts out rather than writing to update in my own website only.
3. What are your dreams and aspiration?
I would like to mention a thought of mine, “To Dream comes before To achieve.” Yes! I have my own dreams and aspirations like others do but it’s not like flying high up in the sky and touching the star or being a star. Simple and affordable they are. As I’m a Network Engineer now, the field, which I’m very much passionate and want to build the career in. So, thriving in this field, exploring myself more, being a well skilled Engineer and working for a globally renowned company would definitely be my dreams.
Besides this, I would also mention my dream to be a jaw-dropping writer in future days whose every words can inspire others.
4. How do you feel being the Wordism Hero for Shrawan?
Well, what to say? This tag ‘Wordism Hero of the month’ means more than the gift hampers I’m being provided with. This really is a huge thing I’ve ever achieved in my writing career. I feel so ecstatic, so good. So much humbled I am. All my gratitude to YL Nepal Team.
I’ll be looking forward to the upcoming winning articles and the last competition among the winners.
5. Anything you want to say who is reading this!
Ok! For those who are reading this, if you are interested in playing with words, believe me ‘Wordsim Competition’ is one of the best local opportunities. This really is a great platform for us to transmit our thoughts to the public via the power of words. If you think that you can write or even if you think that you cannot, I’d suggest you to give it a try. The feelings thereafter are so amazing either you win or not.
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