Gender Equality: Anti “Man-Shaming” – Elisha Kharel, Runner Up, Wordism S3, Falgun

It seems kind of unnatural to bring up “tortured males” in the discussion of gender equality. Not being sexist here, but being a woman I can understand what equality seems to be in our perspective. We want 50% “or more” share in everything and a lot of attention and affection and look of respect and sympathy (oh no!!! sympathy seems so negative. Women are not a thing to be looked down upon. We don’t need to be sympathized, but Nah we need that look of sympathy though). See, I am completely sticking to the so-called urban modernized version of gender equality here, so judge me, but I can tell you right.

Males are the tortured one in this current momentum.

A girl coming out of a beauty parlor would be complimented; a guy coming out of parlor would be teased.
Girls walking together holding hands is cute; Guys walking together holding hands is ……….(if you know what I want to say here, you are sexist yourself)
A girl eating titaura and panipuri would be termed basic, but a guy, “how can you eat those being a boy?”
A girl would never be questioned when she sits at “Jestha nagarik or asakta reservation seat”. Now imagine a guy sitting on mahila seat. Those eyes from the fellow passengers is taunting itself and SLAM goes the co-driver “ooo that’s mahila seat, bhai” embarrassing him for not knowing the rules.
There’s still a concept that guys should pay on first dates, guys should gift red roses on valentines, guys should pull out chairs for you, open the car door for you, and what not. Not because you are his princess, but because you are a “woman” and that “woman” tag makes you feel deserved to get the attention.
Now imagine that safa tempo. Even if I look like I weigh 60kgs, sturdy, and fine physically and mentally, just because I am a woman, the fellow passenger who’s been hanging with me on the door half the route would offer the empty seat for me. Like why? Because he’s a man and we, women, we demand sympathy.
I work at government bank and when it gets too much crowded, I hear women shouting across the cash counter “why don’t you make a separate line for women?” okay why should we?
Girls riding Bullets are bullets themselves, but guys riding a pink scooter ?????
Girls listening to Rock and Metal are cool, but guys listening to kpop????

Girls getting scared at horror movies are adorable. If a guy gets scared, he will be man shamed all his life.
If a girl talks about sex she’s sexually liberated if a guy talks about sex he’s just desperate.
Yes, things have got professional. All my friends laughed at the other friend of mine who told us he worked at a spa in Melbourne. “Better work at a gym” was what he got.

Nowadays we got more serious issues backing women up i.e. “rape” and “sexual harassment”
My dad is a lawyer. He tells me stories about how some women (when they have to seriously win cases or arguments) just cry and pinch “he even tried to sexually harass me” and bam they get things done so easy. He shared an incident when he was left speechless when the defendant’s lawyer went “are you belittling me because I’m a woman?”

Being a man, the society imposes things on you. And you’re on constant risk of being word bullied with things like “he couldn’t do it even if he’s a man”.
” Don’t say Man Up Because strength is not defined by gender. ”
Remember every superhero has a man in the end and so goes with “HuMAN”.
Become a huMAN, the superhero, and stop man-shaming.
Gender Equality is not just for you fellow-women.

Question answer with Elisha

1. Tell us more about you.

I am Elisha Kharel, 24 years of age, currently living at Anamnagar, Kathmandu. studying MBA at King’s College. I am an administrative assistant at Rastriya Banijya Bank. I have worked as a marketing executive for Project A and as an English Language Instructor for CMAT at Shatabdi Research Center. I’m associated with, a start-up educational portal that believes in providing a one-stop solution to students, redefining education and making education accessible to all. I’m a finance graduate from Shanker Dev Campus, I’m currently Vice President of Leo Club of Kathmandu Margadarsan, Area 325 B2 Nepal, Leo Club International. I’m also Global Peace Ambassador at Global Peace Chain. One thing that defines me is my love for reading novels and free writing. I believe words are what shapes human beings. My motto of life : “swords that cut or defend stand for sharp-words”.

2. What was your thought when you apply to Wordism competition?

I had been seeing so much of man-shaming posts recently, hearing such stories from my brothers and friends that those emotions were just burning up inside me. I usually jot down my anger on paper, my way of expressing emotion, I already had a framework built up on my head about how i would speak up about man-shaming. I even had my facebook post ready, hahaha. And Right at the same time, i saw “Gender Equality” as Falgun Month’s topic on Wordism. What could have been a better option for me to express than this? People usually associate female when we talk about equality but being a female myself, i know, it turns out to be too much sometimes, too much attention, too much seeking of attention. More than winning, i wanted the Panel and wordism team to relate my words in an everyday situation and at least try to make change through the individual level.

3. What are your dreams and aspiration?

Removing the illiteracy is my dream, That’s why i am involved in organizations and NGO that aims at educational freedom. I want to write and i want my words to inspire people. But i know, people must first learn to read those words (remove illiteracy), people must then relate with their life (educational freedom).

4. How do you feel being the Wordism Runner Up of Falgun

It indeed feels like an achievement and because Falgun is my birthday month, it feels i got my birthday gift 😀 I now realize that words echoes and if i give a little effort even i can reach to the mass. I would also like to thank the team of Wordism for providing us youth this wonderful chance to showcase our talent.

5. Anything you want to say about who is reading this!

Do not keep anything bottled up, Remember no one is alone, look at everything around you, not at people, at things!! YES, those secluded pens and paper, like the secluded you, would work magic. If you don’t have a friend to share your stuff with, share it to the empty paper, it doesn’t complain, it rather resonates!!!

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